Prevention series · Part 4
How to support someone who's struggling (UK guide)
You don't need the right words. What to ask, what to avoid, and which UK services to point someone toward.
Most people stay quiet because they're scared of saying the wrong thing. Staying quiet is worse than getting the words slightly wrong. This is what actually helps.
Ask directly
Asking someone whether they're thinking about suicide does not put the idea in their head. Evidence is consistent on that. Ask plainly — 'are you thinking about suicide?' — and then stop talking and let them answer.
What helps
Once they've told you something honest:
- Listen without fixing, minimising or comparing.
- Stay with them if they're in immediate danger, and remove obvious means of harm.
- Help them make one call — Samaritans, their GP, or 111.
- Check back in a few days later. The follow-up matters more than the first conversation.
What to avoid
Well-meant responses that tend to close a conversation down:
- 'Others have it worse.'
- Promising to keep it secret if they're in danger.
- Rushing straight to solutions before they've finished talking.
UK services
You can call these for advice about someone else, not only for yourself:
- Samaritans — 116 123, free, 24/7
- CALM — 0800 58 58 58, 5pm to midnight daily, plus a webchat
- Shout — text SHOUT to 85258, 24/7
- 999 or A&E if there's immediate danger
Need support?
If this post has brought up difficult feelings, these UK services offer free, confidential support.
Every HHSS heavyweight hoodie is £55 with £5 donated to Man Down UK, a men's mental health non-profit.