Self-care series 4: a plan for the worst days

The last part of the HHSS self-care series. Bad days come whether or not you're ready. The trick is deciding what you'll do before you're in one, because in the middle of it you won't be able to think straight.

Write the plan while you're okay

Keep it in your notes app. Five lines is plenty.

• Two people I will message, with their names written down.
• One thing that reliably takes the edge off — a walk, the gym, a shower, a drive.
• One thing to avoid entirely on those days — usually drink, or being alone all evening.
• The numbers: Samaritans 116 123, CALM 0800 58 58 58, text SHOUT to 85258.
• The reminder that this has passed before, even when it didn't feel like it would.

Know your warning signs

Most people have a pattern before a bad stretch: sleep slipping, cancelling plans, drinking more, snapping at people, going quiet online. Learn yours and treat them as an early alarm rather than a character flaw.

Tell someone your warning signs too. They'll often spot them before you do.

If you're in crisis right now

If you're thinking about ending your life, please tell someone tonight. Samaritans is free and answers 24/7 on 116 123. CALM is on 0800 58 58 58 from 5pm to midnight. You can text SHOUT to 85258 if you can't speak.

If you're in immediate danger, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. There is no threshold you have to reach first.

Heavy heart, strong soul

That's the whole idea behind HHSS. Carrying something heavy doesn't make you weak — it means you've been holding it on your own for too long.

£5 from every hoodie goes to Man Down UK. But the part that matters most is free: tell someone.