Self-care series 7: sleep, the 3am spiral and getting your nights back

Part seven of the HHSS self-care series. Almost everyone who's struggled will recognise 3am: awake, heart going, every worry louder than it was at teatime.

Why 3am lies to you

In the early hours your body is at its lowest ebb and there's nothing to distract you — no work, no noise, nobody to check the thought against. Problems feel unsolvable because you're not in any state to solve them.

The single most useful rule: don't make decisions at 3am. Whatever it is, it gets revisited in daylight.

What actually helps

None of this is a cure for insomnia, but it moves the needle for most people.

• Get out of bed after about twenty minutes awake — sit somewhere dim rather than lie there fighting it.
• Write the worry down. On paper it's usually two or three things, not fifty.
• Keep the wake-up time fixed, even after a bad night. Chasing sleep with lie-ins keeps the cycle going.
• Cut the last coffee earlier than feels necessary — caffeine hangs around for hours.
• Leave the phone in another room. Scrolling at 3am makes the spiral longer, never shorter.

When to get it looked at

Broken sleep for a few weeks, waking early every morning, or nights where the thoughts turn dark are all worth a GP appointment. Sleep problems and depression feed each other, and treating one usually helps the other.

If a night gets frightening, Samaritans answers 24/7 on 116 123 and Shout takes texts on 85258. You don't have to be in crisis to call.