Self-care series 5: work stress, burnout and knowing when to stop

Part five of the HHSS self-care series. Work is where a lot of men's mental health quietly falls apart — not in one dramatic moment, but over months of saying yes when you had nothing left.

Burnout doesn't look like collapse

It usually looks like cynicism. Short temper. Dreading Sunday evening. Doing the same job in twice the hours because your brain won't hold information any more.

By the time you feel physically ill, it's been building for a long time.

Signs worth taking seriously

If three or more of these have been true for a few weeks, treat it as a warning, not a personality trait.

• You're exhausted after sleeping.
• You've stopped replying to friends.
• Small mistakes feel catastrophic.
• You're drinking more in the evenings to switch off.
• You can't remember the last time you looked forward to anything.

What you can actually do

Start with the boring levers: a real lunch break away from the screen, a hard finish time two nights a week, and notifications off after hours. None of it fixes a bad job, but it buys you enough headroom to think clearly about one.

In the UK you can also speak to your GP about work-related stress, ask your employer about an Employee Assistance Programme if one exists, and take sick leave for mental health the same way you would for a chest infection.

If it's gone past stress

If you're having thoughts of hurting yourself, please talk to someone today. Samaritans is free and 24/7 on 116 123, CALM is on 0800 58 58 58 from 5pm to midnight, and you can text SHOUT to 85258.

Next in the series: building a support network before you need one.